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I was raised in the Catholic church and though faith was an important part of my life, I always felt something was missing. I felt security having God in my life, a sense of order. But the older I got, the more aware I became of the churches teachings not being consistent with the Bible and the more I began to question the church. Around the  age of seventeen I really began to lose faith in the church and slowly drifted away. I wish I could say that it was toward Jesus, but the reality was that I wandered for the next 30 years. having a relationship with Jesus was always my long-term goal, but it was a long road before I found Him.
Having no cornerstone in my life, I began to make a lot of poor choices. I married young, divorced soon after, and began living the hedonistic sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle typical of the 70's. I continued to believe that I had a relationship with God, but that it was clearly on my terms. My first MS symptom was losing my eyesight on Easter Sunday, 1977.
Although I can not claim a miraculous conversion, the significance was not lost on me. From the beginning of my MS, I have believed that there is a divine reason for this illness being a part of my life.
My search for God became stronger over the years, but I always tried to do this within the confines of the Catholic church and I was always left with a feeling of emptiness. in 1997 my MS became significantly worse. I had to leave a job and home that I loved and traded a very productive life for one where I am homebound in Florida.
Praise the Lord, I chose to spend my time reading Power for Living and my life was changed forever. There was a moment in time when I suddenly understood the gift of salvation and actually found myself saying Thank You Lord, I am born again! I had discovered the missing piece of the puzzle. the Catholic church had taught me that Jesus was my Savior, giving me a strong Christian foundation which I am thankful for, but what had been missing was the purity of the gift. I did not have to say Hail Marys, do penance or any other kind of bartering to maybe be forgiven. ALL I have to do is ask. the idea is so simple, yet having this kind of faith, is the biggest challenge I have ever had. What the church had been asking me to do was in reality a lack of faith. I now have immeasurable peace and joy. This has become my daily prayer:
Dear Lord, I repent my sins,
And ask for Your forgiveness.
I believe in the gift of salvation,
Through the death and resurrection of
Your Son, Jesus Christ,
Who died on the cross for our sins.
I accept Him as my personal Savior and Lord.
O Lord, I ask for You to come into my life.
Which I turn over to You.
I pray for the Holy Spirit to walk with me daily,
So that I may know You and serve You,
With my every thought, my every word, and my every deed,
Amen
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